The Matcha Latte Masculinity of 2025: Performative Males and the Generational Pursuit of Validation
Picture this: you’re a woman at a hole-in-the-wall coffee shop and you spot an odd creature—a peculiar male sipping on a matcha latte, listening to Clairo music, and reading feminist literature. Although he’s a complete stranger, something about him feels instantly recognizable and almost familiar—as if he’s been designed with you in mind.
Congratulations! You’ve just encountered the newly discovered TikTok-famous 2025 iteration of the performative male in the wild. On the surface, he appears harmless—ideal, even. But don’t be fooled: the performative male is a dangerous species, for he is only an act. His softness is a costume, his feminism is a prop, and his lifestyle is a performance.
The term “performative male” refers to men who adopt behaviors and aesthetics associated with specific subcultures or ideologies, not necessarily out of genuine interest or belief, but often to project an image or gain validation. While the label itself is recent, the behavior it describes is not. Performativism isn’t inherently new—it has always been about doing things for the approval of others, especially in a social or romantic context. From the gym bro flexing his muscles to the startup hustler flaunting his grindset, men have long tailored their personas to whatever archetype promises attention.
The latest version of the performative male is a persona built on living a carefully curated lifestyle that caters to the female gaze. Recently, this archetype gained widespread attention on TikTok, where users humorously slaughtered the soft-boy aesthetic and its over-the-top attempts to appeal to women. These men brand themselves as sensitive, cultured, and progressive through “subtle” signals like emotionally-in-touch music taste and socially aware literary choices. Their curated preferences are less about authenticity and more about strategies for appealing to women with interests and ideals he believes make him seem desirable.
In many ways, the performative male represents a very human response to shifting cultural pressures. Many men face the paradox of being masculine but not hypermasculine, strong but not overbearing, soft but not weak. These conflicting expectations leave many unsure how to act, giving rise to the performative male: the perfect amalgamation of all the male stereotypes that women thought they wanted and men thought women wanted. Yet, these overcompensating matcha-green-flag behaviors often backfire due to perceived inauthenticity, turning what should be an attractive quality into a red flag.
The virality of the performative male hints at a larger problem in this generation: the struggle between living authentically for ourselves or living for external validation. In a world where social media amplifies every opinion, trend, and reaction, it has become easier and more tempting to shape our identities around how we want to be perceived rather than who we actually are. The 2025 iteration of the performative male may be a humorous archetype, but he reflects the pressure that many of us face to curate ourselves into something desirable to others, even at the expense of our individuality. Until authenticity outweighs performance, we risk mistaking the act for the person and validation for selfhood.
