The Uncomfortable Truth Beneath the Blank Stares

In what appears to have happened overnight, influencers all over the internet are discussing a phenomenon called the “Gen Z stare.” As the name suggests, it is a blank expression unique to Zoomers (another term for Gen Z) when faced with an attempt at small talk from the older generations. Millennials and boomers perceive this stare as either a form of disrespect, a manifestation of boredom, a symptom of poor social skills, or all of these things at once. But why does this seemingly innocuous stare heat up so many debates in online circles? Have Gen Zers become this socially inept due to the COVID-19 lockdown? Is social media to blame? Or maybe, just maybe, the Gen Z stare is a mere manifestation of the cycle of younger generations getting criticized by the generations that came before them due to the vast cultural and ideological misunderstandings between them.

You see, the social landscape back in our parents’ day was all about politeness and making a good first impression, with sincerity being a secondary priority. When someone asked you how your day was, you just had to flash your biggest smile and cheerfully respond, “I’m fine. How are you?” It didn’t matter that you weren’t actually fine. Telling people how you were really doing was seen as “airing your dirty laundry outside your house,” or making your personal issues everyone else’s business. Gen Zers, on the other hand, have a more direct communication style. Zoomers have grown up in an age where information is dished out instantaneously and seemingly infinitely. Because of this, a shift in expression has emerged: the fewer the words used to effectively convey a message, the better. This can look like using abbreviations in conversations online or even using nonverbal body language, like staring, to express what we’re feeling.

Communication styles aside, growing up in the digital age has also produced in Zoomers a desire for authenticity. In an Ernst & Young report, 92% of Gen Zers reported that they value “being true to oneself,” and they strive to do so in all aspects of their lives. Living in an age when false information can spread like wildfire, we have learned to value authenticity and genuineness, and it extends to the way we navigate our social lives. We’re also more upfront in our conversations and more open with our good days, our bad days, and our feelings in general. This means that we can be a bit tactless in our conversations, as we’d rather not fake enthusiasm for politeness’s sake. 

These differences in background and environment produced very different values, practices, and ideologies among the older and younger generations, causing heated debates and criticism from both Gen Z and the millennials and boomers. But this isn’t a new occurrence at all. Since the dawn of human history, the older generations have always debated and even criticized the practices of the youth, usually recycling the same sentiments that young people are “lazy,” “irresponsible,” “scandalous,” and “disrespectful.” 

At its core, the Gen Z stare debate is simply another manifestation of this ongoing misunderstanding between different generations. It won’t be long before we’ll become the grumpy relatives reminiscing about how much better it was in the “good old days” over Christmas dinner. However, at some point, I think we need to just pause in the middle of the chaos and ask ourselves: What is the point of criticizing the latest “oddity” of other generations? Does it make any difference when we point fingers at the youth’s blank stares or our grandparents’ conservative values? Don’t get me wrong: There should be discussions about our differences, and it happens naturally when it comes to two groups of vastly different people with varying perspectives on the world we live in. However, criticizing people for something as silly as stares prevents us from actually listening to each other and reaching a point of mutual understanding. As a member of Gen Z myself, I believe that we’d do a lot better to be open-minded and listen to the wisdom of the generations that came before us. In the same way, the older generations would certainly benefit as well if they actually listened to what we have to say instead of criticizing us for a mildly offensive stare.